PSYCHOTHERAPY

Often in therapy the truth is foregone for the sake of empathy. Let me explain.

Most psychotherapy is based on the ideas of empathic listening. There isn’t anything wrong with it, but providing a safe and non-judgmental environment is only a setup for treatment and not the treatment in itself.

I often end up working with people who had previous underwhelming experiences in therapy, and that’s because the patient never moved from the storytelling and confession. In some cases, it’s because it was helpful to them; in others, because the therapists have not done their own work and couldn’t take the patient further than they had gone themselves.

It is easy for a therapist to hide in empathy. Empathy allows for holding back information. There is a fear that we, as therapists, feel every time we have to tell the truth. And yet without the truth, we never move forward. The patient needs to hear what is on the therapist’s mind and how the therapist experiences them.

Psychotherapy requires honesty and risk taking.

The therapist’s honesty with themselves and willingness to scrutinize non-defensively their own world view is the essential factor that creates authenticity and facilitates change.

Yes, the technique matters, and a therapist has to be trained and competent. But the research says that, regardless of modality, it’s the quality of the relationship between a therapist and a patient that creates lasting transformation.

I offer what has come to my mind in a context of a therapeutic relationship with a non-authoritarian sense of curiosity and humility. With a spirit of inquiry and negotiation. I am willing to make a mistake. My interventions, thoughts and words come as a conversation.

I am willing to resist the urge for self-protection and surrender certainty. I want to hear YOU. I want to know YOU.

Come. WE HAVE TO TALK ABOUT THIS.

Call me at (847) 219-8689.